Tuesday, February 20, 2018

You Millionaire Socialist Hypocrite

How rich is Nancy Pelosi, regular rich or MillSoc (Millionaire Socialist) rich? MillSoc rich of course, with an estimated net worth of $100,643,521, making her the wealthiest woman in Congress.

Perhaps that's why she's campaigning for higher taxes while dodging them on her million dollar mansions. But so what, some pigs are more equal than others; don't say brazen hypocrite.

In the meanwhile, the long march towards serfdom continues but don't be surprised, Beltway Elite, if the peasants revolt.

Your Friend,


Monday, February 19, 2018

You Killers

Buried beneath the shocking news that Special Counsel Robert Mueller spent millions of dollars to indict the grand total of 13 Russian trolls, was this. The US Senate voted down a bill that would have banned abortions after 20 weeks and the baby's ability to feel pain.

As one blogger noted, a "key lobby that opposed the bill banning the practice was the so-called Catholic lobby - members of the Senate who publicly identify as Catholics and receive political contributions on that basis." You can read the list of so-called Catholic Senators who voted against the Bill here.

You would have thought, regardless of your love of abortion or otherwise, that banning it at a late date, when the baby can feel pain as he or she is killed, makes bipartisan, shared moral values sense. No one, surely, in their right mind is in favor of infanticide.

Unless you're a Catholic in the United States Senate. In the wake of deafening silence from cardinals, bishops and priests, we have to wonder at the catholicity of the US hierarchy. Does it follow Christ or some other thing?

If the latter, be assured of this; the Woman will crush the serpent underfoot and its followers will be relentlessly destroyed by the Holy Spirit and the demon that they worship.

Don't say Moloch,


Melania Mondays! President's Day

Reeling from the vision of Justin Trudeau's remarkably gay socks, readers are clamoring for something uplifting, which is why we're bringing you another episode in the popular series, Melania Mondays!

Described as "an angel in white," Melania visited victims and medical staff at a Florida hospital, two days after last week's tragic shooting.

Unsurprisingly, people suffering from TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) lost no time in blasting America's popular and glamorous First Lady for smiling alongside injured students and their carers, as well as tweeting that "everyone should test the power of kindness."

"Kindness, you seriously must be joking, you took advantage of a school shooting for a photo op. You didn't travel together because he cheated on you but you showed up at the hospital," ripped one unkind TDS victim on Twitter.

Others were even more deranged, accusing Melania's husband of "cheating #AlternativeFacts spewing" and racism.

Hold on, haters, are you living in opposite land? What's wrong with the First Lady and President cheering up people in hospital and encouraging kindness? Get back on your meds and turn that deranged frown upside down.

After visiting the hospital, Melania and the President hosted a party at their Mar-a-Lago resort, where they were photographed sitting together affectionately. 

The lying, corrupt, elite, smug, insinuating, pugnacious, venal, sly, failing mainstream media has consistently claimed that Melania's marriage to Donald Trump is a sham. Perhaps that's why she looks so miserable sitting next to him, except that she doesn't.

Well done Melania for doing your bit to make America great again. Have an outstanding President's Day.



Sunday, February 18, 2018

Justin Trudeau's Remarkably Gay Socks


Canada's winsome Premiere, Justin Trudeau, is rightly renowned for his remarkably gay socks, so it came as no surprise to see him sporting a pair of Darth Vaders in India.

The wacky Vaders came out after Trudeau was left waiting on the tarmac for Indian Prime Minister Modi, who sent an underling to greet the Canadian supremo.

Trudeau, who is an enthusiastic advocate of gay sex, is well known for his his love of Star Wars themed socks, such as the witty "Droid."

Will his playfully gay socks walk back Modi's snub and reverse Canada's status from Gujerat vassal to sovereign nation?

Don't say Vimy Ridge,


Saturday, February 17, 2018

Government Insider Reveals Anglican Warp Technology!

Ex-Pentagon expert, Alan Delgarde, has made astonishing claims about the technology which keeps the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) in the air.

According to Delgarde, WANC is still flying because of "energy" and the "ability to warp space-time" and a single, mysterious technology.

"We believe it has to do with a high amount of energy and the ability to warp space-time, not by a lot, but by a little. We do believe all these observables we've been seeing, sudden and extreme acceleration, hypersonic velocities, low observability, trans medium travel, and last but not least, positive lift, anti-gravity – is really the manifestation of a single technology," said Delgarde in an interview with Compound News.

Others aren't convinced: “Are UFOs chasing our jet fighters, as recent secret documents suggest?" opined space boffin, self-described Michio Kaku, “Maybe they are experimental hypersonic drones. Or maybe aliens from outer space? I keep an open mind.”

So what is the Worldwide Anglican Communion, a spacetime warping, anti-gravity vessel from another dimension or just another hypersonic drone?

You be the judge,


Year Of The Dog

Sources within the intelligence community inform us that it's now the Year of the Dog and Blue Pie Eater agrees. For him, every year is Year of the Dog.

I tell him, "No, it's the Year of the Russian Bot," and he signals disagreement, wagging his preposterously spotted tail as if to say, "Don't be ridiculous, 13 kremlins posting disparaging comments about Hillary on the internet means nothing. I need food, it's the Year of the Dog."

Bowing to Blue Agitprop's logic, I give him a Pedigree Triple Action protein stick; it's gratefully received and wolfed down with K-9 gusto. 

Speaking of dogs, why didn't Hillary and the DNC turn over their infamously hacked mail server to the FBI? You know, the one that was supposedly violated by evil Russian hackerz.

Surely the DNC didn't have anything to hide, which is why they won't be worried about Buzzfeed suing them for pertinent Russiagate information. 


Friday, February 16, 2018

Russia Responds To Mueller Indictments

Popular Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman, Maria Zakharova has responded to Deep State Mueller's indictment of 13 Russian nationals accused of disparaging Hillary Clinton on the internet, calling the allegations "absurd."

While dancing the Kalinka, Zakharova posted to Facebook:

"13 people interfered in the US elections?! 13 against an intelligence services budget of billions? Against intelligence and counterintelligence, against the latest developments and technologies? Absurd? Yes."

One of the 13 Russian Bots indicted by Mueller, "Putin's chef," Yevgeniy Viktorovich Prigozhin appeared to welcome the accusations against him.

"Americans are really impressionable people. They see what they want to see. I greatly respect them. I’m not upset at all that I am on this list. If they want to see the devil, let them see him."

Glad to oblige.

Your Friend,


Deep State Mueller Indicts Thirteen Russian Bots

Special Counsel Robert Mueller has unveiled the shocking findings of his year long investigation, indicting 13 Russian nationals.

Their crime? Attempting to interfere with a US election by posting disparaging comments about Hillary Clinton on Twitter and Facebook. Yes, you heard that right. This unholy band of Russian Bots, these Kremlins, had the sheer, brazen iniquity to disparage Hillary Clinton, on social media no less.

Now the 13 false apostles are facing charges in the US while living in the luxury of their bot barracks in the Kremlin, mission accomplished. You can read their names here.

So that's it, the result of Deep State Mueller's long and arduous attempt to show that President Trump colluded with the Russians to stop Hillary winning the White House. Here it is, for all the world to see, 13 infamous Russian Bots posted bad things about Hillary on the internet and Trump had nothing to do with it.

What a shocka. But while we're at it, how did Wikileaks get all those DNC emails?

Don't say Seth Rich,


Thursday, February 15, 2018

A Day Of Clouds And Thick Darkness

That pretty much described the route to the first Mass of Ash Wednesday, as smoke filled the air and trucks came to a stop to make way for various first responders; I was afraid I'd be late for Mass.

Not to worry, before too long the road was clear enough and we rolled slowly through the smoke, hazards on.

Just in time for Mass but speaking of smoke, do you you remember the FISA Memo and the attempted coup against the President? For that matter, did you see Susan Rice's curious memo to self? Some say it paints Barack Obama in an unfavorable light. 

God bless,


Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Ash Wednesday Valentines

It's Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day, when we celebrate a martyr, love, and mark our foreheads with an ashen cross as a sign of penance; remember, O man, that thou art dust and to dust thou shalt return.

Love is the unifying factor in this apparent clash of Feasts. The love of the martyr for Christ, even to death, the love of a man for a woman and the love of our Lord, supremely manifested on Calvary. So perhaps the calendar isn't as confusing as it seems but I'll spare you the sermon. Here's the Collect instead.

ALMIGHTY and everlasting God, who hatest nothing that thou hast made, and dost forgive the sins of all those who are penitent; Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of thee, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

God bless you all this Lent,


Tuesday, February 13, 2018

The Greatest Portrait Ever

Now that you're happily full of pancakes and djinn fizz, consider these portraits and ask yourself if one of them is not like the others.

Here's a hint.

Your Friend,


The French Sixty Nine

The eternal suns and systems,
Solid and silent all,
To me are stars of an instant,
Only the fires that fail
From God's good rocket rising
On this night of carnival.

What better way to relax before the onslaught of multiple pancake dinners and the rigours of Lent than a fortifying French 69. You can shake it up like this.

69ml Champagne
30ml Old Raj gin
15ml elderflower liqueur
15ml lemon juice
Lemon twist garnish

Combine gin, elderflower liqueur and lemon juice in a shaker with ice. Shake well and strain into a chilled flute. Top with Champagne and garnish with a lemon twist.

Then, as you reflect upon the strange mystery of Ash Wednesday falling on Valentine's Day, raise your glass and drink to victory.