Showing posts with label CNN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CNN. Show all posts

Sunday, August 20, 2017

The West And Europe Reacts To Jihad Terror



Another day, another murderous atrocity by the religion of never-ending peace. How will we, the West and Europe, react?

Like a roomful of adorable rainbow ponies or with something stronger? A response that gets its head around the baffling concept that, you know, there might be a correlation between Mohammed's religion and the behavior of his followers.


Jihad Runs From Peace Signs

So far things look promising in Spain, where they've laid floral tributes and made a giant, living, candlelit peace sign. That'll stop the Jihad; Moslem fanatics run from flowers and peace signs every time.


Moslem Head-Choppers Don't Like Teddy Bears And Candles

They're doing well in Denmark too, with their new "hug a jihadi" program. ISIS quakes and who can blame them. After all, who wants to be hugged by a safe-space Dane? Terrifying.


A Typical CNN Dream Catcher

Of course here in America, CNN's busy getting to the root of the problem, which is clearly white supremacism, the Klu Klux Klan and statues of nineteenth century generals. Bye-bye Lee, bye-bye Jihad. And note this, there aren't any statues of Stonewall Jackson in liberated Mosul. Problem. Solved.


But We're Bored Of Jihad! Time To Sleep.

All this aside, the West could do the unthinkable and... no, that would be racist because as everyone knows, Islam's a race.


Behold The Genius Of Yoko, And John

So stay tuned for more daily Jihad terror as the West and Europe in particular, continue to ride the rainbow with gay abandon. And that's just fine until the Sharia Police throw you off the top of the nearest building. 

John and Yoko forever,

LSP

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Real News



By way of celebrating President Trump's SCOTUS semi-victory, I figured I'd cook up some curry. Look, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean the Compound's getting weak on Islamic terror or that we're about to observe Ramadan in the Missions. It's just a curry, a chicken curry, that's all it is.

A month or so ago I couldn't have managed it because the medico had removed the gnashers. Gone, like the Clinton candidacy itself, and it was reassuring to visit the dentist today and discover that everything was healing as it should. 




You see, what they've done is screw two screws into the lower jaw. These will become "implants." Sounds nasty, doesn't it, and I have to say, keep your teeth if you can. Still, a good result; such is the miracle of modern dentistry. 




In other news, I decided to hone my skills as a journalist by interviewing the Cadet. You can watch this incredible footage here. And note this, unlike CNN and the networks, it's not fake news.

Shoot, Fish, Ride,

LSP

Monday, June 26, 2017

Don't Be A Pathetic Lib, Fish



Now that the risible "Russians hacked the election" narrative is dying the death of a thousand failing PR spins, the team decided to go fishing. We'd tried Soldiers Bluff the day before and the young 'un did well with a good sized Hybrid but I struck out. Today would be different, I promised, at the dam spillway.




Sure enough it was. The water churned and foamed and we cast off with circle hooks and worms. A few minutes in and Boom! out came a decent Black Drum and we could see the Gar schooling off the current. Big excitement as the prehistoric looking river monsters circled and prowled like submarines in search of prey.




After a few false starts, as the fickle Gar took the bait, ran with it and then let go, I felt an encouraging tug on the line. That firmed up, the rod bent double and the fight was on; I thought I'd caught a Catfish but no, a big Bass broke the surface and tried to run downstream. Sorry fish, you're coming in and up came a decent sized Leviathan. Great result.




Then the Cadet started catching, Black Drum, and that's the main thing. You want kids to experience the action so that they get into the sport. Otherwise they'll be tempted to write it all off as a boring game of waiting for endlessly non-appearing evidence and give up. Or worse yet, be forced to retract the story altogether as a phony piece of CNN-style agitprop.




That wasn't the case today; it was fish on and thank you mighty Brazos for the opportunity.

Tight lines,

LSP


Thursday, December 1, 2016

Sunrise at the Compound



The sun rose over the Compound to the usual morning chorus of roosters, crazed peacocks and pyschotic dogs.  Blue MAGA didn't care, he was busy gnawing on a cast off steak bone. 




Like a lot of our international readership, Team LSP doesn't like to waste steak bones and after they've been gnawed clean they're turned into finely honed push daggers. Waste not, want not.


Crazed Millionaire Socialist

In other news, it looks like the bizarrely overpaid and traitorous Megynne Kelly is switching networks. For more millionaire socialist dollars, presumably. 


Shoot The Gun #TrumpsAmerica

Who is this "Megynne" anyway?

#DUMPKELLOGS

LSP

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Scorn Megyn Kelly



Megynne Kelly, who's angling for a $20 million contract and hedged her bets on a Trump lose, has published a memoir, Settle For More. Go figure.

Megynne's cash getting drivel has been slated by reviewers on Amazon. Here's a sample.








In a fit of free speech, Amazon removed many of the reviews. Megynne, who was once popular and attractive, has become ugly and is now scorned by ordinary Americans everywhere.




Who knows, perhaps the multi-millionaire celebrity journalist will find a slot with Jeff "I'm Not Corrupt" Zucker's despised CNN.

And maybe Hillary won the election.

Megyn, we scorn you.

LSP

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

I Hate Your Network



In Trump's America the fun never ends, unless you're CNN President, Jeff Zucker, who got a Golden Tower pounding yesterday along with other millionaire Media celebrities.


Dishonest, Deceitful, Liars

In a leaked report of the event,"Trump started with Jeff Zucker and said 'I hate your network, everyone at CNN is a liar and you should be ashamed.'" But the property tycoon's scorn wasn't just reserved for Zucker's embarrassingly biased fake news network, other members of the Press got it too, as the President Elect called them out for being "dishonest, deceitful liars."

This caused one member of the agitprop arm of the Democrat Party, who was interviewed by the pathetically comsymp millionaire socialist New Yorker, to have an emotional meltdown. 

“I have to tell you, I am emotionally ****ing pissed,” another participant said. “How can this not influence coverage? I am being totally honest with you. Toward the end of the campaign, it got to a point where I thought that the coverage was all about [Trump’s] flaws and problems. And that’s legit. But, I thought, O.K., let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. After the meeting today, though—and I am being human with you here—I think, ***k him! I know I am being emotional about it. And I know I will get over it in a couple of days after Thanksgiving. But I really am offended. This was unprecedented. Outrageous!”


But I really am offended. This was unprecedented. Outrageous! Maybe you didn't get the memo, crybaby. Nobody cares.

According to one Intelligence Community insider, a number of press passes are about to be revoked.

Yes, please.

LSP








Monday, February 1, 2016

Megyn Kelly Wins Iowa Caucus!



In a shocking head-to-head breakneck race, TV superstar body celebrity, Megyn Kelly, has won the Iowa caucus by a few slim percentage points.




Kelly won 28% of the vote as opposed to also-ran, Trump, who got a losing 25%. Trump told the world that he's "honored" to come in as the Loser, in second place to Megyn.




America waits with bated breath as the GOP candidates psych up for New Hampshire. Will Megyn "The Body" Kelly win, or will someone else? 




Let the ballots decide!

LSP