Showing posts with label hippies are thieves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hippies are thieves. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Solstice!



Yes, you got that right, it's the Solstice, the longest day of the year, a day when hippies come out to play and sing. 




In England that means dusting off the antlers, putting on your unicorn mask and heading off to The Stones for mysticke revelry. 


Keep it Clean, Hippies

If you're a top-level hippy, you can even dress up like a druid wizard. All good, harmless fun, eh?


Face Painting

Sure it is, until you wake up from a crazed body painting session and discover someone's ripped off your giro, leaving you possessed by a Special Brew demon.


The Magic Of The Stones

Here at the Compound we're not marking the Solstice by travelling to Austin's famous fiberglass stone circle, much less its superior English forbear, heck, we didn't even make it to Burning Man. But we are saying this.


Hose Them Down

If you meet the hippy on the road, hose it down, AR15 optional.

Love and Peace,

LSP

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Water Is Sacred But You Are Trash



It starts off innocently enough, at least on the surface. A few hundred hippies in a field saying no to a pipeline and pretending they're Red Indians. And why do hippies always like to imagine they're cowboys and Indians? 

Whatever, there they are in a field in Dakota, building wigwams, making bead jewelry, chanting "water is sacred", there's a little dancing, some petty thieving, the usual. Then more hippies find out about the freak camp and turn up for the action.




The Indians aren't too pleased about this, partly because the hippies are stealing all their food and also because the freaks are trashing the land with their garbage. Think 10,000 hippies, if you dare, and you'll get the picture. Not nice and it gets worse.




Before you know it, Susan Sarandon appears. Sarandon's 85 years old but looks younger because of hippy magic, but even magic can't take care of the waste of thousands of hippies who have fallen on the land like a plague of filthy locusts.




Finally the plug's pulled on the NoDAPL protest leaving 250 truckloads of trash to be removed from the site before it contaminates the local water supply, and authorities are searching for dead bodies amidst the garbage.




Moral of the story? Apart from drill, drill, drill, never, ever, let hippies onto your land. They'll destroy it. The same goes for Susan Sarandon. For detailed analysis see here.

Your Old Pal,

LSP



Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Winter Solstice Pagan Hi-Jinx!



Guess what, readers. It's the Winter Solstice! That means you get to worship the rebirth of the sun on the shortest day of the year and goof-off at the sacred circle, where the wizard sages sat. And steal stuff, along with all the other hippies.


Cheer up Pagans! Someone steal your Giro?

Don't bother about taking a shower or anything: 1. There isn't one and 2. You don't do that anyway. But go right ahead and get down with all the other thieves druids, just don't freak out when you end up in a Wicker Man and it's on fire.


Moonsong. A Priest of Pan

In related news, a self-described "priest of Pan," called Moonsong, wasn't too happy when Maine's Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BVM) wouldn't let him wear goat horns for his photo i.d. 


A Typical Pagan State i.d.

So Moonsong got in touch with the ACLU and before you could say "lawsuit," the BVM backed down and Moonsong gets to wear his goat horns. You can read the whole thing here.




What do we think about that, here at the Compound? It's obviously a great victory for pagans everywhere. But here's a thought, worshipers of the Horned God. What'd you do if the real deal turned up?

Mind how you go,

LSP






Monday, March 30, 2015

Go On, Get A Pistol



In a bold attempt to break personal stereotypes, I emailed someone who knows about guns. What pistol should I get, I asked, and got this reply, You’re a Texan for heck sake…you will also need a wheel gun.

That set me thinking, all the way to the nearest gun shop, where I picked up a S&W .357 Magnum. The .357 is a serious round. Can it crack an engine block? I don't know, I haven't tried that, but I do know I liked that revolver.

It just felt right.

LSP