SPACE ROCK

Way to go, "Captain" Calvert. But lest we forget...

There's always Bob Weir's shorts.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Touch Of Grey

 

What awesomeness. Carry on,

LSP

Woodstock

 

Yes, this one's for LL, who is not a hippy, and here it is. We are stardust.

Your Pal,

LSP

Social Justice!

This simple mind blog's all about social justice, which is why we support Scouse Lives Matter. But you might want to think twice before, ahem, "taking the knee."

#SLM

LSP

Behold The Genius

Get #goBaldForBLM trending.

Then sit back and enjoy the show.

Well done, Team. Mission accomplished.

#skinheads

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Writes Pope

An anonymous source has leaked damning correspondence between the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and Pope Francis to the Press.

Via Ignatius:

Dear Frank,

I have to admit that I am envious.

As your Synod on Yoof comes to an end you are in the happy position of being able to oversee the drafting of the final document without fear of contradiction. I, on the other hand, am little more than a servant of our General Synod, tied hand and foot by quasi-democratic red tape.

What cheers me is that – au fond – we have identical aims and objectives. We both see the future in an accommodation to the general drift of Western values. Of course, with women’s ordination and casual abortion, we are way ahead of you. But there are new inclusions that we can work for together. What a triumph if you could smuggle a reference to LGBTQERTY into your final document!

Our task is to remedy the declining number of believers by adapting the Faith to what people really do believe. Then we can claim that the majority have been Christians all along and call it ‘evangelisation’.

At the moment, as I am sure you will agree, things are going swimmingly. Though to be honest I have mixed feelings about euthanasia – still, I suppose we will find ourselves embracing it in the end.

Keep up the good work,

Your affectionate ‘partner in crime’,

Justin.

Welby, head of the worldwide Anglican Communion, is popularly known as "Justsin." Stay tuned for further revelations.

Your Old Pal,

LSP 

Stormy's Sketch

Internet twitter sleuths have been hot on the trail of the man who allegedly threatened Stormy Daniels, ever since the world famous prostitute released a sketch of him.

One investigator, SKIRT, identified the suspect, "This looks like Tom Brady which is funny until you realize that 2018 has no rules so it's actually possible it was Tom Brady." 

A court drawing provided further evidence.

Yes, Tom Brady.

Justice must and will be served.

LSP

Diocese of Kentucky Caught On Camera

Shocked cryptozoologists have captured video footage of the Episcopal Diocese of Kentucky, living under a trestle bridge in Louisville, near an abandoned church.

The frightening images came to light on game cameras as developers gained permission to build retail and office space on abandoned wasteland in the vicinity of the bridge. 

Planning Commission staff cited that a mix of commercial uses had been proposed "in a rural area where the scale is inappropriate for the surrounding large rural single family lots. The Diocese of Kentucky is part of folklore but has to move on."

Known locally as the Pope Lick Monster, the Diocese of Kentucky is not to be confused with the Anglo-Catholic movement but may be a species of hybrid.

The Diocese of Kentucky is an enthusiastic supporter of gay marriage and womyn priests. Diocesan Staff were not available for comment.

LSP

Johnnie Walker Says Kerry's An Idiot

A new trove of US intel  emails has been discovered, thanks to a mysterious hacker known as "Johnnie Walker." The emails reveal what we've known all along, that Senator John Kerry is "an idiot."

One Redditor described the contents of these earth shattering emails:

Found a couple of things that are interesting. A Russian scholar "Valery Solovei" is sending Robert Otto a monthly report on Russia. Also, Otto and his buddies HATE John Kerry and continually refer to him as an idiot!

Perhaps all is not lost in the murky, cloak and dagger world of the US intelligence community.

Mind how you go,

LSP

Dolezal Blackface

Rachel Dolezal was a white girl from Montana before she became an African American civil rights hero for the NAACP. Her brother says she's been living in "blackface," and thinks that's demeaning to real African Americans.

There's Blackface

But in fairness to Ms. Dolezal, there's a long tradition of white people pretending to be black. The Selous Scouts were keen on "blacking up" in the Rhodesian Bush War, for example. Like Dolezal, they infiltrated black communities with surprising success. The same goes for white irregulars in the Kenyan Mau Mau rebellion.

And There's Blackface

I've always been a bit baffled by the inability of the terrorists to detect the blackfaced imposters, but the ruse seems to have worked, and worked well.

Bush War

It did for Rachel Dolezal, up until recently. Rumors abound that the unfortunate trans race champion has hired lawyers. Surely she should be given an award for courage.

Your Pal,

LSP