Melania Mondays!

Time, like life itself, doesn't stand still and a whole week's passed since the last exciting installment of Melania Mondays! So what's been happening in the life of America's refreshingly attractive First Lady? Entente with Russia, that's what.

Victoria Tsyganova Shows Off Her New Collection

Famous Russian singer Victoria Tsyganova has sent Melania a special parcel via the Russian Post, a cashmere and fur jacket. According to Sputnik News, the singer hopes "that this jacket… will warm Melania's soul in difficult moments."

Furloving Melania

Here at the Compound we applaud this heartwarming gift to Melania and hope that the glamorous Presidential Consort's appeal to the Russian people will continue to play its part in thawing the recent Democrat fueled freeze in US/Russian relations.

Heartwarming Melania

Well done Melania for doing your part to stop an unnecessary, absurd, blatant attempt to save Hillary's dismally losing face by reigniting the Cold War.

Keep it up, First Lady!

LSP

Fog of War, Spaghetti Update

The fight against evil doesn't stop because there's a bit of fog on the road, making Lake Whitney look like a scene from an Arthurian legend. That's why you have to climb in your truck and brave the fog of war on the weather to get to Mass.

Also, like any soldier, you need to eat right in order to take the fight to the enemy, so I'm grateful for all the spaghetti suggestions and offer the following update.

I like everything about this safe space.

One senior member of the intelligence community sent in this helpful tip: "You might want to add some gunpowder for flavor." Good call, I will. An art philosopher recommended "a pinch of sugar" to reduce acidity and Marmite as a flavor enhancer. Well said, I'll take that as an imperative! Then a well known nature theologian said "add some shrooms!" Alright, I will.

Another pundit again told me to add some ginger nutmeg and a bit of chili powder to the sauce "because that's the way the Italians do it." Right on, I'm up for it.

Some Italian Handgun

Then there's the gun. Several firearms specialists said "no, a handgun is not 'optional'," you need it to "defend your dinner." OK, I'm convinced. Logic.

Defend Your Dinner! And Your Rods! With, er, a .303 Battle Rifle.

So thank you for the helpful suggestions. The quest for the perfect Spaghetti Bolognese continues.

God bless,

LSP

Cooking With LSP, Spaghetti -- UPDATE

"What!" you say in that exasperated I've got better things to do with my time tone, "Cooking with LSP? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Not so fast, large international readership, you can cook with LSP and here's how.

Tomatoes

Go to Walmart and marvel at the guy with a shaved head and an eagle tattooed across his scalp, then pick up 2 Ilbs of ground beef, 80/20, an onion, some garlic, a big can of tinned tomatoes and its diminutive brother, tomato paste. Guess what, none of this is expensive or even hard to find.

Spyderco

Then take your haul home in the rig and get down to business. First, chop up the garlic, around 3 cloves, and a medium onion. Perhaps you use a Spyderco Perseverance for this arduous task, perhaps you don't, there's no rule. 

Next step. Make like a Sovereign and pour a tablespoon of olive oil in a pot, add the onion and garlic and heat it up until translucent; do not burn the garlic like a fool.

Mix It Up

Add two thirds of your six buck Walmart 80/20 and brown it off. Stand back in amazement as the fat renders off the ground beef and pour in a big can of whole tomatoes and half a can of tomato paste. 

Feeling confident in your culinary expertise, spice it up with some basil and a couple of bay leaves. Don't be shy of salt and pepper and, if you're not on the pledge, some red wine.

Optional

Speaking of which, this is a good time to have a well deserved drink. After all, you've earned it, but don't forget your food! Stir the in potentia Spaghetti Bolognese around with a wooden spoon, bring it to a boil and then reduce heat. Let that bad boy simmer away covered for an hour or so, give it time to rest, then serve with spaghetti and Parmesan cheese.

Come Together

And that's the way I do it. Some people use fresh as opposed to canned tomatoes and I admire that, way to go; I can't be bothered. Others add carrots, celery, mushrooms, corn, sugar, whatever. I don't, I think that's a mistake.

Don't add carrots.

Sidearms are not essential to this recipe but they help, and remember...

Every gun is a loaded gun.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

*******************************************

UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE

*******************************************

The handgun is NOT optional.

A pinch of sugar, chili powder, and mushrooms are advised.

Gunpowder may be used. Marmite may be used.

END

On The Road

While you're getting into the groove of Funky Town and Barack Obama's awesome legacy, I'm psyching up to drive down I35 to the countryside. Maybe, at some point, our rulers will fix that road.

Speaking of broken roads, the Episcopal Church shut 385 churches between 2009 and 2015, a little more than one a week and that shouldn't be a surprise. Why would anyone who's looking to be a Christian decide to go to a church that's jettisoned Christianity?

Decline

The answer, of course, is that no one very much does and so the Episcopal Church and other denominations who've swapped out the Gospel for Team Hillary and the New York Times, continue their decline. After all, why bother going to church when you can successfully believe nothing and read the Grey Lady's oped in the comfort of your Chappaqua breakfast room.

Growth

In  stunning contrast to the sad and seemingly endless tale of the lib denominations' decline, churches that do proclaim the Gospel grow. For example, the Russian Orthodox Church grew by 5,000 churches and 10,000 clergymen over the last 6 years.

Crush Satan Underfoot

According to Patriarch Kirill, "This is not because someone ordered to build [a church], but because of [the] enormous strength of the faith of our people, who support the authorities’ wish."

These People Hate Russia

Is it any wonder that the progleft atheist cultural ascendancy in the West looks with hatred and scorn on Christian Russia. I'm hoping that's going to change.

Your Old Mate,

LSP

Obama's Legacy

What is Barack Hussein Obama's legacy? Healthcare, debt, unemployment, transgender bathrooms, race riots? Hard to say. Maybe it's better in song.

Thanks, Infidel.

LSP

MAGA Shines Upon Texas

The MAGA Light shines brightly in Texas, perhaps because Rick "He May Be A Fool But He's Our Fool" Perry is the nation's new Energy Secretary. Well, there was plenty of energy spilling out of the heavens on the way to Mass this evening.

And there was steak, which is cheap and plentiful in Trump's America. I mean for goodness sake, you can buy a solid Threeper for $15 at the commissary.

MAGA At Every Level

I like Strips, seared in heavy metal, brought to heat in a 400* oven and served with whatever. Maybe vegetables, maybe not. Some, most, would call that winning. Unless they're Austin vegans who live off tofu, bark, nuts and other people's money.

Austin Hippies Goofing Off

They scorn the MAGA Light, like Soros, who lost a billion big ones after the election. Bad luck, George, you lose, Trump wins.

Hangin' At The Tower

In other news, Le Pen was seen in the Golden Tower. Who knows, maybe France will become great again, too.

Ban the Burqa,

LSP

Angels

I was standing in the harsh Texan T shirt winter of a Walmart car park and looked up at the sun. It glowed with incandescent light through the high clouds, like an angel on its flight path down to the rigs and shopping carts parked right there on the asphalt. 

What are angels? The Angelic Doctor, St. Thomas Aquinas, teaches us that they're purely spiritual, intellectual beings and therefore incorporeal, necessitated by the "perfection of the universe" and the nature of divine creation.

A Typical Angel

Angels, we learn, are without form and matter and exist fully actualized, beings of almost pure act. They are, however, inferior to God because they are contingent upon Him. Good stuff and you can read all about it here. But maybe this is all a bit highbrow, form and matter, species and genus, essence and existence and all of that. Let's bring the definition down to earth by reflecting on what angels aren't. 

Here's a helpful infographic:

These aren't angels, at least they're not the good kind. Don't ask for their help.

Vicious rumors that top Democrat Party operatives practice ritual magic and commune with demons are entirely with foundation.

Moral of the story? If you're going to get into it with angels, choose the right sort.

God bless,

LSP

March Of The Trolls

Well, well. It seems as though 4chan /pol has been trolling Buzzfeed, CNN and the CIA, and if that particular Pepe hasn't been perhaps another has. Whatever the case, the trolls march on. Sorry, Wojak, you lose.

A Muslim at Dhimwit St. Mary's

In other interesting news, St. Mary's Cathedral in Glasgow invited a Muslim to sing on the Feast of the Epiphany. Very interfaith and thank you very much, the only problem being that the Muslim in question sang a sura from the Koran about Jesus not being God.

Wojak Cries

I don't know how many people bother to go to St. Mary's, but I do know that their Facebook commentary on the event says this:

Go Figure Dhimwits

Good looking out, dhimwits.

LSP

Take a Walk!

One of the benefits of living in a small rural farming community is being able to walk places. So what? You snort dismissively. So a lot; just you try and walk somewhere in one of America's metrosprawls. 

"I know," you think to yourself, "I'll walk to the shops." Think again, your city isn't built for walking or even for humans, it's built for cars instead.

The Broken Debris of Obama's America

That's not so true in older country towns, which were designed on a more human scale, and I like to take advantage of that, strolling out to the local Pick 'n Steal with Blue Defender after Morning Prayer. Or, for that matter, to Montes Mexican Diner.

This isn't Cheshire

I went down the latter route the other day, offering up the members of the congregations in prayer as I walked along the leafy boulevards of Olde Texas. 

A Typical Shack

Perhaps that sounds overly pious to you but I find walking and prayer tend to go together. There's something in it that stills the mind.

This isn't Kent

That said, there's plenty of mental space to take in the sights and reflect on the fact that this is Texas, opposed to Kent or even Cheshire. Then you arrive at Montes and everything's good. 

Tradition

I ordered Huevos Rancheros, I always do, it's a tradition.

Was I armed? Maybe.

LSP

The Final Countdown!

I think this powerful and uplifting infographic speaks for itself and while you ponder its wisdom, see if you can name one of Obama's accomplishments. Let's see.

Race relations? Healthcare? Employment? No? OK, maybe foreign policy was more his ticket, like in Syria and Libya. Hmmm, maybe not. Of course, the economy! Which is booming as long as it's measured in trillions of dollars of debt.

So go on, take the challenge and name a single Obama accomplishment. In the meanwhile...

The Countdown continues.

LSP

Melania Mondays!

Yes, it's that time of the week again, the best time, the time we've all been waiting for. That's right, Melania Mondays! and what's America's stylish, attractive and smart First Lady been up to, apart from looking good and lifting the nation's spirits?

Golden Melania

Only having famous designers fall over themselves to make clothes for her, that's what, and who can blame them. Calvin Klein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Tommy Hilfigger, Zac Posen, Dolce & Gabbana, Victor de Souza, to name just a few, are all competing to dress the #MAGA presidential consort.

Creative Melania

Sophie Theallet, on the other hand, who made clothes for Michelle Obama is refusing to have anything to do with Melania. Tom Ford, who made a dress for Michelle Obama to wear at Buckingham Palace, has also said he won't make clothes for Melania because his brand is "too expensive." 

Happy Melania

Some commentators have called Tom Ford an "appalling hypocrite."

Looking Sharp Melania

Here at the Compound we doubt that  Melania's too bothered by Sophie and Tom's embarrassingly futile protest against the will of we the people. 

Then There's This

After all, it's not like she'd want to look like Mitchell Michelle anyway.

Uplifting Melania

Well done, Melania, keep making America great again!

Keep up the good work,

LSP

Shotgun Wedding

Sometimes you have to tear yourself away from the endless text stream coming at you from Putin and the Kremlin and get on with normal life. For me, that meant celebrating a wedding.

It was cowboy themed, which meant that the Groom and his men all wore boots, starched and ironed jeans, black hats (off in the Sanctuary), turquoise shirts and black waistcoats; the waistcoats went with the hats. They also sported shotgun shell boutonierres, and I resisted the temptation to talk about "shotgun weddings," though the urge was strong.

The Bridesmaids came in with the Groomsmen and wore turquoise dresses to go with the Groomsmen's shirts, they looked good, and then in came the Bride. She was nervous, along with the Groom and rightly so, for it's no small thing to get married, but both did well and made their vows with confidence.

They got a clap at the Peace (Pax) after "You may kiss the Bride." I was moved, good work, kids. And may God bless you with many happy and joyous years as you go through life together, with all its twists and ambushlike turns. But here's the thing, readers, all two of you.

The Bride and Groom were binary. That's right, the Bride was a woman and the Groom was a man. Far out, eh? And before you blast me for being a white privilege racist, that's OK, in #TrumpsAmerica.

Your Friend,

LSP